I have always been the kind of girl who is fond of writing.
Unfortunately i find more beauty in heart-wrenching drafts.
A few days ago, I was given an opportunity to handle photo captions of an Instagram account. I am more than happy to do that because it's really cool when you make money through what you love. The only hindrance is that this is a wedding organizer account,  so obviously I have to write something beautiful and elegant and of course festive, not something that I normally write, not something that breaks your heart when you read it. And honestly I find it difficult, thinking about it.. how could I have spent years writing something so sad? And now I have to learn to write something different. I wish I remember how it felt, to be happy.

Since i broke up with him, i didn't know what to do, so i went back to the old pack. The one where i work indirectly with someone who used to like me a lot. Without him i wouldn't be in this team. He's a good person. Btw congrats to him bcs he finally has a girlfriend!! Wow! I'm glad i no longer have to worry about hurting his feelings no more bcs apparently with or without a gf, he's still a confused sentimental guy who post sad quotes on instagram page- and it's 100% not for me 😂


I still

My friends remind me not to do stupid things no more. And without them, I guess, I wouldn't be able to get this far.
But each step i take gets heavier. A day without him never gets easier no matter how many days i've spent alone.

Sometimes i wonder if he still cared about me.
If i got myself into troubles, would he come save me?
If a fuckboy disturbed me, would he help me out?
If a random guy tried to take advantage of me, would he be there to defend me?
If, by any chance, i was so broken that i did crazy things, would he even bother to talk me out of it?

My irrational mind is always thinking about him, though i know he isn't a little kid i need to worry about.
It rains nearly every night and i wonder if he got home safely, i wonder if he thought about me as much as i do.
It's excruciating. What happened between us never really ends for me.



Last night i dreamt of you, pui.
I dreamt of you taking me for a ride and i could finally hug you.
I hugged you so hard bcs i've missed you for too long.
I know i can't turn back time, and i can't do anything about it.
So i gave up trying.
Just so you know, i really miss you.
I think about going to the on-going food bazaar but i didn't. I don't want to annoy you.
I dont want to hurt myself too.