7.09.2016

I want him to

I want him to tell me he loves me without me asking about it.
I want him to remind me of how much he loves me everyday.
I want him to buy me donuts on my rough day.
I want him to hug me when i get upset with him.
I want him to take me out on a fancy dinner once in a while.
I want him to come right away when I freakin need him.
I want him to see me like I am his world and he wants me so badly.
I want him to feel proud and lucky to have me.
I want to be his motivation, his sweet heart.
But I think..it's just me who feels that way. 
I've never said that to him bcs I don't want him to think that I demand too much of him.
I don't wanna give him any pressure.

Sometimes I question myself if it's right. I wonder what would happen if i hadn't tried so hard to bottle up my feelings. It would have been over long time ago, i guess.
I stay though there are days and nights when I wanted to say the "L word" but didn't bcs he never say it to me anymore or bcs I was afraid that he'd leave any second.
I could sense the distance between us.
Maybe he gets bored of me sulking.
He gets tired whenever I over react.
He gets sick of not making me as happy as he wants me to be.
Maybe this, maybe that.
But i have a feeling that i am going to cry really hard in a near time if this keeps going.

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