Die Diery,

Other than not being late to work which I've failed, I have found another resolution!
So it started like this, a friend of mine who has been practicing acupuncture was talking to me one day when he suddenly told me about how unhealthy I looked. "Could be some digestion problem", he said. Then he advised me to cut down alcohol consumption. I was like 'Damn. How..'
It wasn't how for "How to cut it down?" but it's more like"How could he know?"
No one outside of my best friends, God and myself really know how much I love to get myself high even though I don't tolerate much alcohol.
For the record, I was never an alcoholic.
I was consumptive, but I never thought it would be so obvious.

Fyi, I never started drinking because "it was cool" sort of excuses.
And as any normal gullible teenage girl, I used to think that alcohol is poison, unhealthy, addictive and it tastes like medicated oil!
I was never keen of trying, I was very reserved instead.
It all changed till I had my firsts. Every first has its own story and it is always kept well in the memory, even in the state of being tipsy.

B introduced me to his world. His dark side.
When I had my first beer, first wine.. I was spoiled. I drank them up to prove that I wasn't as kiddo as  he thought.
And eversince he left, drinking was the only thing that keeps me attached to him, nothing else. It's the only thing that could bring back memories when the smell of his perfume isn't around.
So I started drinking, to remember and to forget the same thing. I found it comforting. I never keep it from my parents. They always know whenever I took out scotch glasses, they just don't know why.
And they let me sip more and more of their collections. Alone, in my room, till I got real heavy head and I slept in. I continued drinking away all my problems, not realizing that it isn't about my heart break anymore. Maybe it has healed. Maybe it has drown away. Maybe I'm drinking to kill the silence, to let go of something else. So maybe I should stop now to show the world that I'm attached to nothing. No one.

For the sake of my health I promise that I am going to solve my drinking habit.


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