Don't worry don't cry, drink vodka and fly

Dear Diery,

This year passes by very quickly. I thought it would be longer.
Well, 2014 has been great. It has been a year full of restrain, too. Restrain from falling in love, restrain from texting the people I miss, from trusting, even hating.
I guess I just wanted time to pass, so I didn't count the days. 
This year, I'm tired of repressing my emotions. I can't remember the last time I really cried.
need a break.

Have I always told you about how dull my days are?
They are.
The same days, routine, people, nobody cares.
Over here I'm filled with thoughts of studies, final assignments, bills, cleaning the closet, envious of others' traveling pictures.. 
It's incomplete without the other half, don't you think? It lacks positivity.
Do you know my favorite saying? It is.. "love when you're ready not when you're lonely"
 I'm a  yes-or-not-at-all kinda person. I'm not putting sb in the midst of my uncertainty and leave.
Tell me, how old is my soul now?

I'm gonna tell you the best thing happening in 2014.
It was my trip to Jakarta. First, I truly went there for DWP 2014. A rave party.
I planned to live on my own bcs I couldn't find a travel companion. But at last I decided to live with my aunt bcs I wouldn't be home for several days anyway.
And to my biggest surprise was that I actually haven't met or even talk to them maybe for 10 years or so. Yet they welcomed me with warmth of a family. Something that I honestly say, is rarely felt with my other cousins. (As I ever told you, I don't have many relatives around. I'm a lonely dove)
That made me comfortable, even though I felt kinda excluded from the siblings when they left me alone in the bedroom at night.
But it was fun. Really. DWP was awesome too. My first rave ever, but not my last yet. It was 2 of the best nights in my life. The charming DJs all over the world.. I am no party hats but I gotta admit it brought my poor dancing to the next level.
Oh, and I also went to Bandung just for a night, where I spent like half of my bills while I was out town for 9 days.

What do I get during my marvelous trip? FAT. I get fat. And I couldn't normalize my diet. I ate like 5 times a day. I get stressed out when I get fat, and I get fat when I get stressed out! 

I'll be looking at my previous new year resolution and make a new one soon.

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