Rain is bless

You could either cry under the rain or dance with La La La song under the rain. I choose the latter one ;)







Can I just pass June every year? 
2 years in a row, feeling blue in June.
I can compose a song already lol.

Anyway it wasn't all blue and gray.
My cousins are finally back from the US. After 7 years! 
I really miss them and they r all grown up. Actually they've been here for two weeks but we only  get to hang out last nite bcs I'm havin exam.
Nothing changes much, except that Yuvender is very very tall now. His American accent made me laugh when he tried to speak Chinese with my grands. 
Hey you gotta practice "Ni hao" everyday!
Yuvella is getting prettier and she's finally 18 and going to uni this summer. She's majoring in nursing!
She keeps a lot of memories here in her hometown but her brother has no idea except sayin it's hot here. I can't agree more.
We seperated as kids and reunited as teens. Time fliesss.
Mami and papi don't change at all, still the same faces only a little older hahaha.
Finally get to hug and talk not from LINE nor Facetime!

I intend to visit them next year, pls pls make it come true!


The night they arrived. These aren't all their luggage yet.


Leave before you are left

I think I have enough.
I'm not  someone who could see myself shatter.
Not someone who could give away my pride for cold shoulders.
I still care and the fact is, no matter how much of a jerk sb is, I care too much.
It's a circle. Again. I'm the same hamster running in the same wheel. 
But I'm tired.
I don't understand why sb could change in a matter of days.
It hurts me the more I try to seek the answer
Ppl change. It's our nature.
It's my fault for my silly thought.
It's on me.
And I keep on telling myself to wait a little longer.
Idk. Easy come easy go. 
It seems so wrong to wish for a sweeter life. 



Die Diery,

I hate spilling over my feelings here "again" but I just can't contain it.
Sometimes I feel so happy that I could die but, occasionally, I question myself if what I'm feeling is  real or is it just happening in my head.
I'm a really bad guesser but I do think a lot. I call it overthinker.
So, when this person showed up and made me wonder this and that with every little thing he did... I resent feeling insecure. I think I am an oxytocin addict. I get attached pretty firmly if you talk to me every day and night.
You know I used to see the little goodness in a jerk I knew before but it went off awfully in the end. 
Past experience makes me a little vulnerable.