Good Night.

Die Diery,

I must say that I have had good night sleeps lately. I'm so glad I do.


No shopping malls.

Die Diery,

I was cleaning my wardrobe a few days ago n I found my beach outfits hanging, still with labels attached, waiting to be taken to a vacation. Also, I found pretty heels ready for parties. The bad news is, I was shocked to see some of my shoes fragmented from their soles and leather bags gone nearly pulverized.
I regret wearing them only once in a blue moon *cry*



I just looked into a folder containing a hella of old pictures. During junior and secondary years with my old classmates. Yes, the one before I got moved to science 03.
Out of the blue, I feel like everything has changed. 
I should have kept in touch, I should have kept our friendship, but things changed and people changed. I think I was a happier kid when I was with them. I mean, I remember they were fun and crazy and everything I could ever asked but well, yeah.. I can't remember why I left.
I don't even know what to say whenever I meet them. It's so awkward, it feels as if they're strangers or at least I am.

But in lonely days, even stranger seems good enough.


Among a zillion maybes

It always rains whenever the sun starts to shine. 
While the heart has been desperately hoping it would be sunshine..
Traces leave. They fade away.



I feel like a hamster running bouts the same circle. Tripped and fell once, got up, and tripped again. The point is, I know I shouldn't be running on the same circle anymore but..
Maybe I should just give up on whatever I doubt before my curiosity kills me.

College's 15th anniversary. Glad to be here.



The Virgin Mary shed tears at Jesus' plight, and carnations sprang up from where her tears fell. Thus the carnation became the symbol of a mother's undying love.

I can hear my heart beating fast.

Due to my past experience, thank you, now I have no idea of how to set a proper boundary between "just friends" and "more than friends"


Head or Heart


I finally decided not to go for the exchange program.
So, bye birthday in Russia!
This year seems like another normal one.
Sometimes you just have to choose, and when it comes to "vacation", you wish you don't have too.
I do hope I won't regret it.

Anyway, I'm starting my voice blog at sound cloud, but I don't dare to post it yet. 
Don't ask me whyyy.

You can check out my covers here: 


Exactly how I feel right now.

I can see your shadow laying in the moonlight
I can feel your heartbeat playing on my right side
Every night I long for this, makin' up what I miss
I can hear you breathing letting out a sad sigh

You try so hard to hide your scars
Always on your guard

Don't, don't let me go
Don't make me hold on when you're not
Don't, don't turn away
What can I say so you won't
No don't, don't let me go... 

I can see the skyline fading in the distance
Tears are comin' down
I'm trying just to make sense
I don't listen to the radio just the engine and the road
I wonder if my words are makin' any difference

I dream and then it seems to end
But always comes again


I'm comin' down
To where you're standing
I need you now or you'll be watchin'
Me hit the ground
With crash landing... 


Don't let me go... 
Don't let me go...

By: The Click Five



I'm so messed up.
At this point, I feel like I've always made wrong decisions.
I've been keeping distance. 
But when I've finally found comfort, I made mistakes. I spoiled the chances. Or he did.
It doesn't make any sense. 
Okay, stay cool.

Whenever I'm drown in loneliness, I either stay up real late or get drunk, just to get a good night sleep. No nightmares, no hopes, no thoughts. And it's tomorrow again.

P.S. Today I got my interview result, I passed! Well, I still don't know whether I really want to go.
But, this morning, I prayed to God to give me signs, that whatever comes out is the best thing for me.
That's it.