She knows that she has always been a second option for anyone elses. And it was all her fault for believing that one day someone else will put her first, that she has to act like she's all OK with those craps. Every empty street she walks through, makes her fear walking any further. Sometimes she feels so helpless and in the middle of dusts, pieces of memories start chasing her, to bring her back to the one who hurt her most.
She felt so lost.
I touched her for the last time. Dad covered her body with a cloth and I gave her my headband that I was wearing as my honor to her for being with us for 8 years. We're going to bury her..
I lost my little girl today, 3 hours ago. It's raining like ever but it can't wash away the tears.
She's been my best friend, sister, company, she's an angel and one of my greatest gifts.
When I was younger, I prayed to God for all and both of us to grow old together, that I want to die before her. Selfish yes, I fear the pain of loss more than anything.
Eversince she got cancer, I fear of losing her but I didn't know it'd happen so quickly.
I was so busy today, going home after college and off to work with macarons as lunch then home with short dinner then back to work. My biggest regret is that I haven't even seen or talked to her today.
Thank you for listening to my stories when no one was there, thank you for watching me cry at my lowest time, thank you for running to me every time I'm home, thank you for accompanying me and my family with faith for so long and thank you for your love.
She's best in everything, she's adorable and the whole family is grieving bcs she's already part of us.
I'm so sorry for not taking care of you lately Mel. I love you so much, we all do.
Grandma will miss you as you're her only company when we're off to school or work.
Grandpa is always proud of you and compliment you as a good pet in front of everyone.
Mom looks ignorant but she cried for you, you know that your cuteness won her heart right?
Remember Dad was the one who bathed you last Sunday? He loves talking about you, you're not simply a spoil house pet like the others.
And me.. I'll miss sharing things with you, looking at your shiny eyes, having you running towards me..everything about you, Mel. As I will always say, you're more than just a pet for me.
I hope you rest in peace and be a real angel. Don't reincarnate. Being a human isn't that great as you always get something to lose it. And it hurts. But if you do, I'm sure you deserve a better place.
I feel sorry that I doubted everything.
It's either he has a radar or God heard me.
It's such a relief that my past wasn't full of lies, so at least I don't feel so dumb.
Having some friends and keeping self busy, loosen the soul a bit..my life is supposed to be this way, not as complicated as it was.
After thinking for a day, I decided to take it cool and hold back as much as possible.
Just like old time, bring back that sensation I used to have, the light in my eyes and that smile again.
I'm not letting my heart breaks anymore. I've come to the longest time out and I finally stand up without a hand.
This is how I live.
I might not be complete, but I like it this way. No anxiety.
" I said it was all a bitter-sweet dream, that the memories I had in my head were all deja vu. But how do I explain these noiseless frozen states called photos?" , she asked.
It haunts me. When I feel sad or so, it won't stop chasing me. It's so hard to assure myself that it was merely a dream. The truth is I feel like..losing people around me and all I wanna do is fall back, and this is worse bcs I know that I'm all alone.