7.31.2013

Revenge is sweet,just. Sweet.

Today, I arrived at my workplace earlier than ever, I had a perfect wavy hair and I even took my breakfast. 
I didn't freak out with students and the best thing was that I had time for a nap.
So I thought today would be perfect but it turned out wrong.
Well, I won't be cooing about what had happened but I really wish that all bullies in every corner of this world would just burn in hell. They're worse than liars. Obv.

I hate to lose my pride, moreover; in front of others especially by those who can never put themselves in my shoes and feel what it is like to stutter.
I was so fed up that I don't even want to talk about it anymore simply because there are too many idiots in this planet.
Those immatures just don't get what patience and consideration is.

It's real hard to try to be nice after everything, but at this point, I'm gonna explode.
Everybody was born both angelic and demonic, well it's not that hard to be mean as it's our nature.
I know I appear alright but please, enough with forgiving and forgetting. 
I'm losing myself.

My health is still so so. November. Just wait for my come back,huh.


7.28.2013

Quality time with the girls

Seeing Gab had posted about our 24hrs of togetherness, I feel like posting one positive day in my life too hehehe.
It has been ages since I posted sth good.
I did have fun gathering with all highschool fellows but nothing was real crazy as this one.
5 of us really spent nearly 24hrs together that I think we should buy a house and live together in it! Isn't it gonna be epic?
We had fun chit chatting and laughing during dinner, came out from the car to buy snacks n dvds and ppl were looking at us like...fantastic 5 (?).
Then we watched movies till midnight and gossiped till dawn..fell asleep, woke up and continued talking..dozed off and it was already 10 a.m!!
The next day we had brunch n went to watch The Conjuring.
Let's do this again!
I can't be happier as God sent these girls for me. They make me forget shits, help me to heal.
Thanks girls :*

Dinner time

Asoi,Gabi,Ceha,Pinle,me <3

Morning looks

They took this pic while I was showering with my ipad and set it as wallpaper!!


Leaving for brunch!

7.24.2013

This is Life

What is life?
What do you want in your life?
Why live an unhappy life? 
Why gain happiness just to lose it?

I don't know what happiness is, but I think I'm not happy.
When I laugh hard, I feel like crying harder inside.
I'm not that light-hearted anymore.
Smiles feel stiff, eyes aren't that bright, heavy sighs, lousy look.
It hurts whenever I whisper to myself what I want in life because I never expect anything more than happiness, but I can't even feel it right now.

It's a cool morning. Again, I feel tired as I opened my eyes.
No, I'm not crying. I choose to come off strong just to end the day. Besides, I realize how ugly swollen eyes are.
And, I'm becoming more forgetful than ever. I had weird dreams. I woke up at 2a.m. Do you think those are the effects of mojito?
This young heart has suffered enough, a new start is what I need. Even if I'm cold and stiff and unhappy, life still goes on. I'm strong enough to live and breath in it.
Except I wish I could block all those memories.

Btw, I have made one more dream yesterday. No, I am not used to dreaming or hoping so..it better come true.
As soon as I've finished my study here, I'm studying abroad. Far far away.
I didn't plan to before, but I made up my mind...let's see in 3 years ;)

7.21.2013

Celebrating My Nineteenth

The last year of having "teen" as the suffix of my age.
So live as a rocking teen to the fullest!
Thank you everyone for coming and for the gifts *kisses* ;)









7.16.2013

Let it go

I'm turning 19,very soon.
And idk why but I'm not so excited abt it,anymore. You know why..
I was so hyped last month, I wanted to tell you how mature I've become, imagined what you'd say, couldn't wait for your silly revenge-for what I did on your birthday.
It feels like..waking up from a very sweet dream and I'm already close to 19.
I've let go. But it feels like sth is still missing. I have no courage to look back to search for the missing piece.

7.03.2013

Mint and Beach

Latest, using line brush app.
I have hair issue with this model.



"I won't cry for you, my mascara is too expensive" - Adriana Lima

"The scariest thing about distance is that you don't know if they'll miss you or forget you."

Not feeling sick because of the fever and headache, more likely bcs I can't stop overthinking.
It almost come to an end. And I bet you see how much things have changed pal.

Everybody faces this,all we need to do is pass the crisis point.

Haven't heard a single news from you today, spent day laying and tried to study but couldn't.
Please sb, comfort me and tell me it's alright and that I'm strong enough to let go of everything and flip a new page.
Instead, I was refreshing instagram and looked into others' lives.
Really envy those who live by the beach or in fame and they have nice hair,smiles,curves and bfs to show the world. 
They said be yourself, but I can't help this little jealousy lol. 😩

xx,
@Julquerade

7.01.2013

Feeling awesome

Yesterday was my first time boarding alone. 7.40 flight,I took a taxi myself from the hotel at 5.30, arrived at the airport at seven, I nearly miss my flight really. Nevertheless,I feel great that I can take care of myself now. What I disputed a lot was my ticket cost which if I add up with taxi fee, I could have spent it on another pairs of shoes,those tops I didn't buy plus the bag which was on 20% sale!

So my surgery schedule will be on November 25th. The question is..can I endure that long?
What I'm saying is that my parents have spent much on my two feet and I really hope this time I'll recover and stop popping pills or seeing doctors. 
 







While mom and bro were staying at Genting, I spent time all by myself. Slept,ate,swam and shopped alone for a day and I kinda enjoyed it. Maybe after I've recovered I'll try traveling alone :D
Yes, only if mom would leave credit card and some cash again HAHAHA :p

Final exam is here,wish me luck.
Miss you btw.

xx,
@Julquerade