5.07.2013

He's dead. Me too.

"Make more friends,pal. Open your heart for a better person. I really can't talk much. Have to face my own problem first ;)."
Not the last words, but did sound like goodbye.

Yesterday wasn't my first time to wish that I didn't have to wake up dead.
Every morning when I opened my eyes with dread to face the day with you stuck in my head, I wept.
What kept me strong was the truth that no matter how bad we fought, we made our way back together. Even better.
But yesterday morning, I cried like a puppy. Cried so badly. For one last time, telling myself there's no more next time. That I'm done, that I won't be teary anymore, that we can't make our way back anymore, that I can't save anything, that I have to stop trying when you never did. Just because I can't take it anymore. And my ego and everything that I can't lose to beg for your coming back. And the fact that I lost you or you lost me, it doesn't matter anymore.
So I let it go, yesterday morning. And for the first time after a week, I breathed. Rotten.

No comments:

Post a Comment