Thank you for seeing me after all the hard time you've been through.
Last Tuesday was the day I don't want to forget. Ever.

William Shakespeare - "Doubt thou the stars are fire;Doubt that the sun doth move;Doubt truth to be a liar;But never doubt I love."

The last time I met that shattered girl, she told herself to open her heart for the first good guy who walks in.
 "Dear, you're miserable", I told her.
And so her wish was granted. 
An angel was sent for her,way too different from that demon who tore her. 
So. She took the chance. Took a flight, left the empire of the cruelest evil ever. With all her might, carrying her broken self. 
The angel was very much everyone's favorite. Typical, kind-hearted man. She, as she usually is, appeared aloof, thanking him from the heart.
"Outside world is so youthful, light and simple", she said.
She enjoyed every process, every little progress.
As she was handing in her heart, amidst all the vague feelings she had.....the angel vanished in vanity.
She fell to the ground; wondered why it was painless.
Was it a sign?
And so the demon walked by, gave her his hand once again. She was hurt in succorance.

Living under the shadow, awaiting for the next moment he let her down.
All the affection she is feeling is such euphoria, keeping her attached..and destroyed.


Rest well,you..

My lecturer said something about Karen Horney's theory, "we don't lose something we never posses"
I sort of agree to disagree.
If  it is so, what does it mean to let go of somebody who was never yours?


Back in the game

The past 2 weeks were hectic. I was busy as a bee but I took it as God's hand to get me off the crestfallen of mine.
It was so restless to have due time one after another that I couldn't even sleep well.
So, my last 3 presentations are officialy over. Cheers!!
I've still got some weekly assignments and work stuff to do,though.
Celebrated my freedom with mom yesterday by going to the movie, having a good time at spa, typical mom-daughter favorite day out. Ladies were born to be queens.

Btw, after what happened, I didn't expect myself to repress the truth and forgive. But I did...


He's dead. Me too.

"Make more friends,pal. Open your heart for a better person. I really can't talk much. Have to face my own problem first ;)."
Not the last words, but did sound like goodbye.

Yesterday wasn't my first time to wish that I didn't have to wake up dead.
Every morning when I opened my eyes with dread to face the day with you stuck in my head, I wept.
What kept me strong was the truth that no matter how bad we fought, we made our way back together. Even better.
But yesterday morning, I cried like a puppy. Cried so badly. For one last time, telling myself there's no more next time. That I'm done, that I won't be teary anymore, that we can't make our way back anymore, that I can't save anything, that I have to stop trying when you never did. Just because I can't take it anymore. And my ego and everything that I can't lose to beg for your coming back. And the fact that I lost you or you lost me, it doesn't matter anymore.
So I let it go, yesterday morning. And for the first time after a week, I breathed. Rotten.