1.18.2013

Stay

Die Diery,

The more I try to stay away,the closer we become. I don't know how or when or why but I just feel so attached to you now.
I really hate it when you treated me like your last option but I couldn't say no to you. Anyhow I did reject you twice today and you started saying that I was acting cool. Don't you know that I'm keeping a distance?
I just wish time would freeze because this insecure tiny feeling keeps on saying that you'll leave any minute.

You really made my days,even when I was so broken...how could it be you?

xx,
@Julquerade

1.13.2013

One More Night

Die Diery,

Semester exam tomorrow!!
Telling self to concentrate more on my book rather than phone :/
Well....wish me luck xoxo


maroon 5;books;apple juice,
@Julquerade

1.10.2013

Weekday fun

Sudden bbq party at Erni's. Kinda cool bcs I only slept for less than 3 hours then had to wake up at 6 the next day to go to college for 8a.m class,teach till 8p.m and read a tough topic about regression till midnight.
That moment when I arrived at 8a.m sharp and the class was apparently put off to 10. Nixon drove me and Ceha like mad too hahaha.






The next thing I'm thinking about is..do I look okay without bangs?
Is it better with or without?

1.03.2013

Just a dream

Die Diery,

I had a very strange dream last night. I was like on my way to school at 07.38 or 07.28 with sort of uniform but I'm sure that it's not our school uniform,I was carrying a load of heavy stuffs like trophies made of hard glass I guess,then..I dragged them to the field...the soil..about to give them to some people whom I can't reckon...not a face.
I remember somebody's name was on highlight. First letter "W" can't recall first or last name but quite sure I did try to remember it in my dream. It wasn't like a familiar name to me. Could be just an effect after watching The Mentalist where there's a scene of "M" or "W" pendant.
Also somehow there was like a sum with computer font like A minus B="17" and I think the B is 23.  It's weird that I can remember so much specific information there.

Basically it was a jumble of irrelevant screens,I'm guessing that it happened because there was so much in my head before I could sleep last night. Well maybe my unconscious is trying to tell me that "the thing" I was thinking about last night actually means something to me. Cool huh?

What do you say?

xx,
@Julquerade

1.01.2013

Heart grows fonder

Die Diery,

I looked back at my 2012's posts and realized that these past few months I'd been trying to get over my 4-month-crush. It's embarrassing to see how desperate I had become :S
But it was 2012's story,I mean..the last time I saw him,he was still as nice as before but I felt nothing even when we got to sit together. So...I think I'm over him. Cheers!
There's a line from HOW by MAROON 5 that describes my feeling that time.
"Why does the one you love become the one who makes you want to cry?"
Deep isn't it? Complicated.
Falling in love is never beautiful,I guess. It hurts when its only you who fall alone,without somebody to catch.

This year,I don't want crush anymore,please. It's killing to fall to someone who can't catch but.... it's nature's forces I can't control. 
And please not stupid getaway from silly boredom which leads to dumb mixed feelings too.

I suppose I'm ready to move on,only because I've been asking myself so many times about B and both my head and heart agree that we're simply friends or I prefer  frienemies.Need to give my heart a break,need peace just like the old times.


xx,
@Julquerade

2013 Resolutions

Do really well at college and college exams

Be friend with more people

Gain more soft skills

Save cash

Make a surprise

Be mature!

Join a charity program

Travel out of town with friends

Last year's unfulfilled resolutions

continue.....


First page of the new year

2012 was blissful, a lot of things have changed the way I see the world. A new perspective to be a mature woman,maybe?

I spent New Year's eve with besties plus Erik at Freddy's ,yeay! Super fun barbecue and fireworks! We didn't buy fireworks but a view from the rooftop was mesmerizing. They caught my eyes so much that I forgot to make a wish at 12.00 but 12.03. Hopefully it counts.......
Too bad some pals couldn't join due to family occasion but it was crazy enough to have Kawe,Freddy,Larry,Erik,Sharen,Erni and Nixon. They are clowns! lol 
Kawe arrived late so we didn't have a pic with him :(

We had grills and sodas and didn't sleep till 6 in the morning. Freddy played guitar at dawn when all of us were sharing in his room...at first there were all of us and as the clock ticked,each voices were gone leaving the guitar solo.
Nixon and Kawe always ruin serious conversation hahaha!
I slept for like 2 hours and had dad fetched me.

Many thanks for saving me from passing the last minutes of 2012 alone with hopes that were already faded.
Nearly a perfect start of the year,nearly :)

Pardon me sounding weak on this post but I still believe new year is a new chapter,new hope and spirit. Having so much inquiries in my head and  thoughts of going back to college in a day sadden me.
Don't fret though ;)






xoxo,
@Julquerade