12.20.2012

Awkward day

Die Diery,

Yesterday I went for a lunch with a frienemy.
Well,at first there were just both of us and I was still at ease till his friend joined. Nothing went awry..ok,admit it. I'm always anxious to be around strangers. I know there were just the three of us but I couldn't help staring at my phone all the time,super anxious and felt like an accessory who didn't get what they were talking about. If only somebody could take me away from there,I'd definitely leave.
I even bbm-ed everyone that I could think of in a sec although I knew that the connection was so bad,just to keep myself busy. It was totally awkward.

It got scarier as his world is apparently..different. I mean,they are like..mature party animals with wide social life and I'm like a retarded good introvert girl trying to look into their life. While I hang out with best friends maybe once a month just to catch up and dinner,he'll hang with drinks and a lot of people that he knows nearly everyday. I sensed everything. He's different from me. We're like living in whole different worlds where there's a line that we may not cross. I will never cross the line and I don't think he would ever leave his world. I don't really think we can hang together ...somehow I get eager to know that there's another life behind my menial one. Moreover,to know this kind of person in my life is unexpected.

He's way older than me but I can't sense the maturity he's always talking about. He always says that I'm childish but he doesn't realize that he is too-which always leads to small fights. A mature person in my vision is a successful executive who's mature enough to choose the right choice. But again,his world is like a drug. Once you've tasted it,you'll want more..
I can't drown.



xx,
@Julquerade

No comments:

Post a Comment