Shut me down pls

I don't give a damn
I can't stand it no more
I just feel so,so,so upset that I can barely feel my heartbeat
God,why does the person I love the most always makes me feel upset about unimportant silly stuffs?
Am I the one who hasn't grown up yet?
It makes me upset bcs even though the world knows that she was wrong,I simply cannot blame her
No matter what she had said,I just couldn't fight back,I couldn't even defend myself
The only thing that I've learnt to do since then was controlling myself
I may not hurt her yet I must shut my lips from so many things that I wanna say,which drives me sick
Actually I planned to see H.O.T members today bcs I've missed them so damn much,but now I don't even think of going anywhere except hiding in this narrow room. She's the only person that could ruin my whole mood
Yes,the crestfallen that I'm feeling is really unbearable.

And I want to scream so damn much,shout and scream as loud as I could :(
Should I teleport?

I'm so sorry,Hottest,for not coming today, but I surely miss you guys like Juliet misses Romeo.

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