5.30.2012

H-12

Die Diery,


It's only 12 days to the university enrollment examination. The only thing that I'm worrying is my unworried mind. It's not that I'm not worrying about that at all,but I just don't want to push myself too hard because I'm afraid of the result. I haven't changed at all.
But honestly,whenever I encounter my friends who have the same destination with me,I feel a bit burdened by their spirit and hard work.
It makes me feel guilty for not studying as hard as they do,as serious as they do. I'm neither smart nor lazy. I simply can't force myself to do that. I still study though,just not with that freaksome spirit. Nevertheless,I wish I could own that energy for myself.
But if you think I got no spirit and will,you're wrong. I will still thrive but I think I'll just take it lightly.  As you know I'm not jobless,as those mentors said,I have responsibility too but I'll still struggle for that one seat.


God,show me the way please _/\_

5.22.2012

Keep smiling!

Die Diery,

The world war III between me and my beloved "her" was over on the next morning after those silly arguments.
Thanks God,I couldn't stand the awkwardness for a sec and I'll never want to feel it no more.

Back to report that I'm very glad that my relationship with other teachers at the place where I'm teaching is getting better and better. So if I thought I would have nothing to lose there then,it's wrong.
Students are gonna have their exam really soon,it means I'll have to be extra strict in order to maintain their score. But honestly,I do feel that students feel bored from day to day simply bcs they've to learn the same thing over and over again. I personally don't want to push them too hard cs I was a student too,and I clearly understand what kind of boredom they're feeling.
No matter what,I hope they'd be able to do their best *fighting*!

On the other side,it's surprising to know that I haven't been to school for a month,and when the Hottest said that we'll meet again on 26th at school,it somewhat made my day!
See you hearts! :)

xoxo,
@Julquerade

5.17.2012

Shut me down pls

I don't give a damn
I can't stand it no more
I just feel so,so,so upset that I can barely feel my heartbeat
God,why does the person I love the most always makes me feel upset about unimportant silly stuffs?
Am I the one who hasn't grown up yet?
It makes me upset bcs even though the world knows that she was wrong,I simply cannot blame her
No matter what she had said,I just couldn't fight back,I couldn't even defend myself
The only thing that I've learnt to do since then was controlling myself
I may not hurt her yet I must shut my lips from so many things that I wanna say,which drives me sick
Actually I planned to see H.O.T members today bcs I've missed them so damn much,but now I don't even think of going anywhere except hiding in this narrow room. She's the only person that could ruin my whole mood
Yes,the crestfallen that I'm feeling is really unbearable.

And I want to scream so damn much,shout and scream as loud as I could :(
Should I teleport?


nb:
I'm so sorry,Hottest,for not coming today, but I surely miss you guys like Juliet misses Romeo.
xoxo

5.14.2012

Imissyou

Die Diery,

I'm back!
Entering the forth week of "holiday",I still feel like it's just a usual holiday.
The good news are? I've fixed schedule to teach and I've become closer to other teachers! :D
But I miss my classmates so damn much. Sometimes I feel afraid of losing memories of them; the dread of becoming a stranger never goes away.
Btw I have something for them,I've been working on this video since the last day of high school. It finished last week but I didn't have time to upload it.
It took a longgggg time to upload this converted video here though that's why I upload it to Youtube.
Thanks to AVS4YOU's watermark -_____-''

This is the video that I made for H.O.T members,hope they like it <3
http://youtu.be/WWjIZ2xf0jY